She's got a STICK!
by Chocolate and Drama
Summary: A simple mission to round up some gopher abnormals turn dangerous when the pansy is added to the mix...Another US story Amanda and Sierra


"According to Henry, the burrows should be just a few feet over there-" Kate was pointing out to Ashley to bleeping spot on the computer pad-map that was the gopher-like abnormals they were hunting, when she was interrupted by Amanda running by screaming, and Sierra chasing her with a stick saying

"Hold still! I'll kill the bugs with this!"

Without looking up from the map she reached out and grabbed Sierra, and Ashley grabbed Amanda.

"Settle down." Kate said in a stern voice that actually surprised the two. "The little creeps are scared off by too much noise." She turned back to the map. "Agh! They're gone! Probably into their burrows, now how are we going to find them?" Normally Kate wasn't so worked up, but she really didn't like cows, and the air was heavy with the smell of them.

A group of metal-eating gopher like abnormals had begun breeding out of control, and when the Sanctuary team shipped out to investigate, it turns out they landed right in the backyard of Sierra's farm. The two had taken up their rolls of tour guides happily, until Amanda began freaking out because of all the bugs, and Sierra found a _stick._ Before they were using their heat signatures to track the little devils but now that they were all below ground, it was useless.

"So they like metal?" Amanda asked, having stopped flailing wildly in a desperate attempt to get the bugs off her.

" Yes." Ashley answered, looking at the two suspiciously. They were looking thoughtful, which was never a good sign.

"Do they like dead rotting flesh?" Sierra added, now tapping her chin with her stick.

"Yeah." Kate said, sharing a glance with Ashley as the two put there heads together, began whispering, pointing, whacking each other with a stick, boosting one another up to look around with binoculars, before finally pointing slightly to the left.

"They're that way." The said at the same time.

"How do you know that?"Ashley asked, now followed the girls who had tromped off in the direction they had pointed to, and Kate and Ashley felt it was best to follow them.

"Well, a bunch of old machinery has been dumped out in the woods-"

"And there's a dead cow back there somewhere-"

"- So they're probably over there!"

They pointed in different directions, then looked at each other, then pointed in the right direction again, and started walking.

It made Kate and Ashley feel uneasy, having two clueless guides in a very big field, but they didn't really have any other options.

"Plug your noses." The two said quickly as the field changed to forest.

"Why are we- OH!" The smell of dead cow hit too soon and Kate and Ashley plugged their noses before it got too bad.

"HALT!" came a squeaky voice. A red-eyed, rabid looking gopher abnormal thing with freakishly huge teeth.

"Oh hello. You're new." Amanda said conversationally. A smaller gopher near her leg latched on to her leg and bit her.

Pandemonium ensued. Sierra, in a valiant effort to try to help, stared whacking the gopher with a stick, or she was just using an excuse to whack Amanda with a stick, because she missed the gopher an alarmingly high amount of times. The other gophers took this as an opportunity to attack, which Ashley and Kate tried to counteract by breaking out the tranquilizer guns. This apparently only made them madder. The gophers found Amanda very yummy, and began swarming her. Sierra was now actually helping, but when one of the gophers grabbed it and broke it, she became so mad she broke out her taser. The gophers, smartly then the very mad Sierra, cleared a spot so Sierra ended up tasering Amanda, who then whacked her with a gopher covered arm. The gophers then flung themselves onto Sierra and then-

"Magnus said it looked like you needed back-up- AHHHH!" Will said, walking into the forest. Before he managed to finish the sentence, the gophers swarmed him. Everyone (except him of course…) knew all animals loooove the taste of pansy.

"Do I want to know what happened?" Magnus surveyed the group in the infirmary. Amanda and Sierra were covered in bandages, looking glum. Will was covered in casts, hooked up to an I.V, Kate and Ashley were sitting glum, re-loading their guns, and whacking Sierra and Amanda's hand away from Will's IV when they tried to unplug them.

"You don't want to know. At all." Ashley said, as she shook one last persistent gopher-thing off her, which conveniently flew off and landed on the pansy….

A/N Spent the weekend with SS, which is where this craziness came from. She actually has this reeeeally big field in her back yard and forest thing that has old machinery, and this cow that died last October and they dragged it out there to rot. We give tours to 'See the dead cow!' It's actually kinda cool. Whether there are actually abnormal pansy-eating gophers out there, we don't know. Now I really want to check…


End file.
